Rules, Reflection and Realness - A Blog Post by Lanasia Buck

Rules: This is where you take the time to be intentional about separating the negotiable from the non-negotiable. It is imperative that you do not live a life on the fence about anything. Straddling the fence feels safe until you realize that your feet aren’t touching the ground. Eventually you have to make a decision and choose a side so that you can become grounded to begin walking in a direction that is in fact conducive to your success on any level.As you read this book and join this experience, make hard and fast decisions. Some will, obviously take more time but the goal is to create a habit of decisiveness. This will help to build your confidence in your own decision making abilities. Trust yourself. 

Reflection: In every season and in every situation, you are granted the opportunity to either enjoy it or to endure some discomfort that forces you to grow. Life is not just a feel-good experience. It is a learning experience, so don’t overlook the value in each situation. That situation was designed to assist you in achieving goals in the next level or season of your life.

Realness: This term is used so loosely and the term’s association varies across different cultures. In urban communities, it is often associated with “realness” in vernacular and style. Within the Christian community, realness is often associated with how you worship and choose to live. But these things are a surface level. The realness that I want you to experience throughout your journey is the realness that allows you to strip away everything that has been a result of you not being completely honest with yourself. 

 There are individuals who taken pride in their ability to be forthcoming with others about their shortcomings. What I find is that those same people who express so much courage with their candidness with others have the most difficulty in being forthcoming with themselves. How do I know this? Because I was this person. I was once the most critical person I had ever met. I would criticize everyone else’s clothes, shoes, cars, speech, decisions, or anything that I could focus on that would keep the focus off of me having to be “real”. I hated in others the things that I hated within myself. Essentially, I wasn’t being real, I wasn’t being honest. I was running away from the truth that was necessary for me to face because it was easier to point out the shortcomings of everyone else, as long as it meant that I didn’t have to deal with my own. 

One of the truest statements I’ve ever heard is ‘every time you point the finger at someone else, you still have three more pointing back at you’. This is a mantra that I live by now. It helps me to hold myself accountable. How dare I be so critical of someone else’s mess when I was sitting in a pile of my own? In addition to this, you can’t heal what you never reveal and you can’t conquer what you can’t confront. The greatest way to overcome obstacles in your life is by facing them head on so that they can be defeated! The power lies in your ability to be honest with the most important person in your life and that person is you.